The Nerd Pastor’s Guide to Being a Gentleman


Mr. Bergstrom: Lisa, your homework is always so neat. How can I put this? Does your father help you with it?
Lisa: No. Homework’s not my father’s specialty.
Mr. Bergstrom: Well there’s no shame in it, I mean, my dad—
Lisa: Not mine.
Mr. Bergstrom: You didn’t let me finish—
Lisa: Unless the next word was “burped”, you didn’t have to.
– The Simpsons
While hilarious, it is true that there just aren’t as many examples of masculinity and gentlemanly behavior out there as there used to be.
It’s more common to find the bumbling oaf dad or the idiot guy friend on a tv show than to find one who displays character worth imitating.
Starting with my generation (though Millenials are certainly getting blaster harder that we are/were) men aren’t men…they’re boys that can shave.
We aren’t raising men because we aren’t showing the younger generations what it means to be one and that’s most likely because we’re not entirely sure what one looks like either.
I’ve been on a personal mission for the last few years to rediscover, reclaim and create a list of what it means to be a gentleman that I can pass on to my boys.
Here’s that list for a group I’ve entitled…


1. Live the Shema (Love God with your heart, soul, mind, and strength).
2.Follow Jesus.
3. Love one woman and love her well.
4. Take risks.
5. Have a quiet resolution.
6. Share wins/be willing to take the blame.
7. Be charismatic (disarming, act interested, be a little mysterious and be generous with compliments).
8. Exercise self-discipline.
9. Practice silence.
10. Be sincere.
11. Do justice.
12. Practice moderation.
13. Practice cleanliness.
14. Walk humbly.
15. Learn how to cook (don’t eat fast food or out of boxes).
16. Take care of your body.
For more on being a gentleman and manliness I’d encourage you to check out the website Art of Manliness and their books Manvotionals and Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man.

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